Its in the stories that we connect. Its in those times of honesty and vulnerability that we see how we are all traveling a road, and we are all seeking that place where there is nothing that can hurt us anymore. I have been on a journey over the last several months that I can honestly say has challenged me more than I have ever been challenged. Its been a time where I have spent substantial time really examining what I believe and what all of this, this life, means.
Late in July 2014 my third child was born. His name is Trent. He was a couple weeks early and his arrival caught me a little off guard. I just don't think I was completely ready for him to be here. But than I saw him, and he was, just like my older two kids, he was amazing. We had a fairly uneventful first few days with Trent, which is what you want with a newborn. We had spent a few days settling in at home before we received news from our doctor that there was some things that came up on a newborn screening that had been done. We were told that we needed to take Trent in to have some tests done and take a look at somethings.
We then began a series of tests over the next several months that we kept being told should show Trent was fine and things were clearing up. Instead, according to a specialist we were working with, things seemed to be heading in the wrong direction. We were informed that it appeared that my son may be facing a condition that would take his life in infancy. An extremely rare, extremely difficult disease that had no cure and really no treatment at all. So often when we go through something difficult we will reassure ourselves by saying things like "well, at least I don't have it as bad as..." and we fill in the blank with some situation that we know about. This was the first time in my life that I honestly didn't have something to fill in that blank with. I was, we as a family, were faced with the reality that we would lose Trent before he was a year old. We had doctors telling us this was a big deal. This was serious.
So often when we go through something difficult we will reassure ourselves by saying things like "well, at least I don't have it as bad as..." and we fill in the blank with some situation that we know about. This was the first time in my life that I honestly didn't have something to fill in that blank with.